Tales of a Sex Store Worker: My Favorite Customer

By Ms. Lucy Vonne | Smutlife

I have gotten really good at reading customers when they come into the store. Especially the ones I think will spend lots of money and want everything in the store. They are fun but not as much fun as when the situation is “Sugar Daddy” infused. You can always spot them as soon as they walk into the store. Usually it’s an older gentleman with his label covered, probably my age and most of the time accompanied by a foreign girlfriend. Once or twice I’ve seen this with gay men as well but 90% of the time it’s the older man/younger lady scenario.

Her face lights up when she enters the store as her heels clank along the floor. The man follows her around like a servant holding all the items she picks out. I go right over and offer to help them with what ever they need. They want to know all the new toys, which ones actually work and which items do I like. Now I’m not a bitch and will not just sell them things to sell them things. I just happen to really highlight all the toys that I love that usually happen to be on the more expensive side but are still good quality. If I sell them crap they won’t come back and we really don’t want that to happen. The woman is usually the one asking the questions and making the decisions. Once in a while she will glance over to her man for approval.

They usually want a variety of things we have in the store. They always get a clit vibrator, clit cream, a vibrating cockring, paddle or whip, lots of condoms and lube, a dual vibrator, handcuffs, dildos and of course, some porn. Typically some sort of anal toy is thrown into the mix. I’m guessing he told her that she could get whatever she wanted if he was allowed to do anal. Seems like a fair deal to me but then in return, shouldn’t she be allowed to do anal things to him too? I’m just saying. Sometimes that turns out to be the case so I will help them pick out a starter strap on kit. I walk around with them and they just hand me box after box. The pile of toys begins to build on the counter.

Most of the time the girl will pull me aside and whisper what can she get to use on him. If they haven’t already ventured into the vibrating cockring section I start them there. But if that has already been taken care of, then I steer them into the prostate section. Now, not all men are ready for this type of toy but they should be. Usually the girl thinks it’s a great idea and hands it to me but tells me to not let him see it because she wants it to be a surprise. I have become very good at this maneuver. He will most definitely be in for a treat when they get home.

Next comes the fun part of check out. We have to battery test everything before it leaves the store because there are no returns. So I bust out the tester batteries and spend the next 5 or 10 minutes making sure everything works. Most of the time the man is really nice but sometimes you get an asshole every now and then. He tries to demand a discount from me. I always them why do they think they would be entitled to one and the usually response is along the lines of, ‘Because I just spent so much money.’ I nicely say with a smile that it’s not unusual for people to spend this much money when it comes to exploring their sexual pleasures. I also add that I’m not authorized to give discounts and that I could get in trouble if I were to do so. Absolutely NOT true. If he was nice about everything then just maybe I would have but not when they are so forward about it. Sorry, maybe next time buddy.

I ring up the items and then wrap them in tissue all the while the two make-out and touch each other. As if this was the appropriate time and place for a foreplay session. It’s not always a pretty thing to look at. And then I send them on their way with 2 or 3 large bags or sex toys. Did I mention I make commission? Score for me.