Reviews, Ruminations, Insults, Insinuations and Slander

Words by Rex Kuntz ESQ | SMUTLIFE

Welcome back you fucking perverts! Sorry uncle Rex has been away for a bit, but I’ve been upholding my mission as diligently as ever. Yes, even a scumbag like me has a purpose and a mission on this planet: to watch as much bad porn as possible so YOU don’t have to. By undertaking this Herculean task I hope to save all my fellow connoisseurs of filth hours of time and hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars on bad, unsatisfying porn. I will selflessly subject myself to all that the adult business has to offer for YOUR sake. In a way I’m a lot like Jesus… Read more

MILF Shakes Bringing Boys to the Yard

Chocolate MILF Shake is bringing all the boys to the yard and to the video store to pick up this latest title from Black Market. This brand new series stars, Nyomi Banxxx, Solei, Neela Sky and Olivia Winters, along with an appearance from Prince Yahashua. Directed by Vito Van Gogh, Chocolate MILF Shake streets today.

“Any movie with Nyomi Banxxx will do extremely well,” James Melendy, Black Market Owner. “She might be a MILF, but you’d never know it. And Vito Van Gogh is one of our top new directors. This new series has all the elements to do phenomenally.”

A relative newcummer to the porn industry, Black Market may only have three years under their belt, but they are taking over and being as ghetto as they want to be. Black Market has garnered many AVN Award nominations and won 12 Urban X Awards including Best New Company in 2008. With well-shot movies and some of the hottest stars and directors in porn like Urban X Awards 2009 Porn Star of the Year, the outrageous and bodacious Pinky, the Black James Bond, Richard Mann, and newcummer Flash Brown, Black Market is urban porn. Go to official website BlackMarketXXX.com to buy movies, view tons of screen shots and watch Video-on-Demand. RaunchyPassport.com, the best in Black and interracial porn, features more of your favorite Black Market performers and their scenes.

Meet Samantha & Her 5 Boyfriends

(Chatsworth, CA) In Home Made Media’s Gangbang #5, Samantha gets banged by five of her boyfriends (who prefer to remain nameless). And five might be not enough—this slut isn’t satisfied with just one or two cocks and will fuck and suck until she’s completely covered in jizz. Gangbang #5 streets today.

“Gangbang #5 might be the best DVD in this series,” says James Melendy, Black Market Owner. “Samantha is so into all five guys and she looks like she could take on more. They’re all amateurs, but she gives and receives like a pro. It doesn’t get much more real or hotter than this.”

Home Made Media is 100% amateur and has released male stroking, girl on girl action, couples, blowjob, Asian, fetish and tranny movies. Home Made Media releases the best amateur movies and pays cash for footage. Submissions must meet certain criteria, including actually being amateurs over the age of 18. Footage must be shot by someone who knows how to hold and use a camera.

Anyone interested in being the newest amateur porn star, should send an email to info@myhomemademedia.com <mailto:info@myhomemademedia.com> for more details and check out the website, myhomemademedia.com.

HOSED featuring Shyla Stylez | REVIEW

Review by Calvin Smitty | Smutlife

Awesome, awesome find today in the mailbox!  Does that establish the enthusiasm? Well if it doesn’t then wake up, get some coffee and come back when you’re with us because we just got a handful of the latest releases from Wicked Pictures and how happy were we to see Shyla Stylez on the cover of HOSED, an ALL SEX, ALL ANAL extravaganza.  Finally an anal flick from Wicked that we can review!

HOSED is just that, a collection of unmeltable scenes with some of the hottest fuck tarts in porn providing cleaning services to sports cars and their respectful owners.  Not until the services have been rendered are these beauties allowed to collect payment.  But not in all instances does the reward come in the form of dead presidents.  Fortunately a rather quick and mutual resolution is reached with both parties in the most satisfying of ways.

Right off the bat Kaycee Brooks, whom we’ve never seen perform before on film does a phenomenal job at winning us over.  With her innocent teen, next-door type vibe going on accompanied by a wonderfully thick ass, Kaycee gets an up-front and center pounding on the hood of Kris Slater’s BMW.  I gotta say this chic definitely has a lot of great stuff to work with and should definitely be around for a long time to cum. Read more

The Perv’s Corner: ‘SPEED’ from Wicked Pictures.

Words by: Rex Kuntz ESQ. | Smutlife

Welcome back you slappy-handed wankers! Happy holidays and all the fake bullshit. I hope Santa or Satan brought you all the filth and debauchery your little hands could hold. I know I got a stocking full of porn and we all know how happy that makes ol’ uncle Rex. And now I want to share my holiday cheer with you.

One of the best gifts I got came from the good folks at Wicked Pictures. Not only did they send me vids, they sent me a whole bunch of salacious shwag to better grease the wheels. Have no fear, though: Rex Kuntz is a shill for NOBODY and he can’t be bought. I consider it my duty to bring you only the finest bits of smut that the skin industry purveys. You can trust Rex. Read more

Wicked Pictures latest release “Study Buddy Booty Call”

Review by A. Starr | Smutlife

“STUDY BUDDY BOOTY CALL”

Coming home from school and trying to get my study on was always an absolute horror, which is one of the many reasons why I didn’t get to walk with my graduating class.  But that’s not the topic for today’s discussion.  What we are here to focus on is WHY has higher learning become such a challenge for the majority of the students in this country.

Why do we here in America have the lowest high school graduation rate in the world? Is it a lack of self-discipline? Is it the absence of morals & family structure? Possibly it’s stems from any number of undetected psychological or behavioral disorders that adolescents deal with on a daily basis.  Or, could it possibly be the overwhelming number of promiscuous teenage girls that have infiltrated our schools?  Well, I wish I knew the answer to this.  Regardless of what the reason may be, Wicked Pictures may help shed some light on this growing crisis.

See how quickly study sessions turn into situations of sexual debauchery as filthy hot high school honey’s get pounded out in this hardcore after school special.

STUDY BUDDY BOOTY CALL is prime example of a failing educational system.  Director Jonathan Morgan does a superb job at tackling a socially relevant topic in this 6-scene spank-a-thon and proves exactly why we can not leave it in the hands of our youth to resolve an issue that is bound to create profound, long-term affects on our country for generations to cum – pun absolutely intended.

Featuring Jessie Cox, Amia Miley, Jessie Andrews, Loni Evans, Jessi Palmer, Ashli Orion, Kris Slater, Danny Mountain, Tommy Gunn, Dane Cross & Rocco Reed.

THE PERV’S CORNER – “Bad Girls 5″ review by Rex Kuntz Esq.

Reviews by: Rex Kuntz ESQ | Smutlife

“Bad Girls 5″ – Digital Playground

This week’s featured sleaze comes from the good folks at Digital Playground, as they supplied your old buddy Rex with a plethora of new releases. A special shoutout goes out to the DP people for finally stepping up and sending out some Blue Rays this time. You just can’t beat watching giant, clearly defined vaginas in perfect, Hi-Def clarity on a giant TV screen. The shit almost swallows you whole… Of the four films I “watched” I will review two in this column and two in the next. Even a sick degenerate like me only has so many loads to spare and if you pull too many you end up getting nothing but knee cartilage after so many attempts. That and some serious chafing. Anyway, this week’s titles include Raven Alexis is a Nymphomaniac, Riley Steel in Roommates, Kayden Kross in Love & Marriage and the star-studded Bad Girls 5, which features an ensemble cast of harlots from the Digital Playground stable. Read more

Couples Letting You Into Their Living Rooms & Bedrooms

What’s the best place to fuck? The living room? The bedroom? The kitchen? It doesn’t really matter where you fuck as long as someone is watching—at least that’s how the couples in Home Made Media’s Couples #11 feel. You watching them helps get them off—they let you into their home and run the video cameras and all they ask is that you watch. The fun part is you never know whom you’re watching—it could be your hot co-worker, your freaky neighbor or your dowdy boss. But it’s a risk you’ll have to take. Home Made Media’s Couples #11 stars K Lynn Natalie Paris, Monica Austin, Angel and Jenny and streets this week—and the neighbor will never be the same again.

“We’re already on the 11th installation of the series and people just can’t get enough,” says James Melendy, Black Market Owner. “This is hands-down the most popular series that Home Made Media does. Couples like watching couples, but people also have that curiosity level of seeing someone on film that they actually know. Of course it depends on how hot they are and these girlfriends and wives are smoking. Cover girl Monica Austin could definitely have a career as a full-blown pornstar if she wants it.”

Fresh-Faced Girls & Deep Throating

(Chatsworth, CA) Porn.com is pulling out all the stops this week with the release of not one, but two titles from some of their most popular series—Make Them Gag #3 and I Am Eighteen #6. The third installation of Make Them Gag stars Jamie Marie, Crista Moore, Haliey James, Allison Pierce, Whitney Stevens and Lola Banks. These girls are troopers—it’s all the way back to the tonsils and there’s no stopping these babes until all their mascara has run down their faces. Included on the DVD is a bonus scene with Lola Banks in Tight Holes, Big Poles Volume 3. I Am Eighteen #6 stars DVD cover girl Mallory Rae Murphy, famous for her virginity on camera, along with Tiffany Star, Haley Sweet, Kandi Milan, Misty Love and Cara Dee. These young, tender sluts are verified to be 18 and they have the pigtails and IDs to prove it—we dare you to check. I Am Eighteen #6 features a bonus scene from Sex for Grades Volume 6 with more from Cara Dee. Both titles street this week. Read more

We’re About to Pop Your Bubble

(Erie, PA) Marie Madison and her partners in crime Jade Houston, Presley Scott and Rachel Porter are going to blow bubbles and there are so sexy that you might just get yours popped! Marie is the Queen of Micro-Fetish and her newest release, Just Bubbles, is a pure bubblegum fetishist’s dream. You get 8 full scenes of pure bubble gum blowing, chewing and snapping—yes, you heard right! These babes are wearing their bras and panties and don pigtails and nurse’s outfits for an extra level of added kink. There are challenges to find out who can blow the biggest bubble and other tricks that end up with sticky candy all over these ladies’ faces, just the way you like it. Just Bubbles hits the streets today, Monday, June 21st.
Read more

‘House Hunters’ Pt. 1

By Mr. DiLodovico | Smutlife

House Hunters part 1 is a new release from Girlfriends Films and it stars British bombshell Tanya Tate as a lonely, abused housewife in the midst of a bitter divorce looking to sell her house. She encounters real estate agent Arielle Ferrara, a sultry professional woman in the market for more than just some escrow. Ms. Tate creates a wonderful scene with her co-star; the two fall into a heated tryst after Arielle offers comfort and guidance to Tanya.

The movie carries on with similar themes: later two more agents for Thornhill Estates (Dana DeArmond and India Summer) spy a beautiful house and make their way to meet the owner. Instead they find the owner’s stepdaughter, played in a sexy short, plaid skirt by Chastity Lynn, who proceeds to show them the house. When the two agents discover all sorts of naughty toys in Chastity’s room a torrid threesome ensues with the two MILFs reveling in Chastity’s not-so-innocent sex drive.

The best scene of the film involves Prinzzess and Ryan Keely. Ryan is at her wits’ end when it comes to finance and she looks to Prinzzess for help in refinancing her home. Prinzzess knows there is only one way Ryan can keep the house, and the price is a steep one.

Girlfriends Films (whose tagline is “For fine folks with good hearts and curious minds”) specializes in soft, sensual girl/girl erotica, relying heavily on storyline and scenario setup to drive the fantasy. Fans of lipstick lesbian films with minimal toy play and seductive entrapments will thoroughly enjoy this offering. It packs a good mix of MILFs with younger stars and delivers the kind of sensual beauty that most hardcore all-girl films lack.

We Love Redheads Vol. 1 (Pink Visual)

If you are a redhead fan then you will love this movie. It’s packed full of cute girls with luscious red locks. For the most part I really liked this movie but a few times I was disappointed.

The scene that should have never happened was with Faye (Valentine) Regan. Now I love her, she’s super cute. But they had her with these two old gross guys. Who thought this was a good idea. I was so turned off by them I had to stop watching. So bad, bad move Pink Visual.

Although they redeemed themselves with the scene that had Dane Cross, Kris Slater and Frankie Vargas in it. This was a super hot scene with some gorgeous men. Frankie was super cute and took those two cocks like it was a piece of cake, mmmmm cake.

Also great was Audrey Hollander. She was with two boys, one cute and one not so much. Audrey is dirty and I love it. She dirty talks them a lot, even while getting some DP fun. She totally loves two cocks in her.

The other two scenes were also entertaining. It opens with an all girl scene with my favorite Nikki Rhodes and then Marie McCray and Shane Ryder. They are hanging out and decide to get naked, because that’s always how it works with girls when they hang out. They bump and grind all over each other and play with fun toys.

Jessica Stone gets it on with CJ who really does not have good hair. But hair aside they have a pretty good scene. Although when she’s talking she has a weird tone in her voice.

So if red heads and red bushes are your thing then you and your penis will love this movie. Although be warned about the old guys, no fun.

A Review by: Lucy Vonne

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